He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
