I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If I die, sorry about rent.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
