help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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