I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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