You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
