seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize