Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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