You're my little dorito
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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