she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
