We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
