I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
