theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My vagina just clenched in fear
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
