bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
