Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
