I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
