I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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