but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
