When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
