just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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