my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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