Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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