I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize