She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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