You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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