do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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