New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
