it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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