Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
