Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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