Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
