wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
