He uses pillows to masturbate.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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