I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
