look no pants
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
