I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
