he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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