hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize