My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
