the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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