Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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