you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
