come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
