That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
40s are totally the cure
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize