I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
are you so shy because you have an std?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
