then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
