That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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