I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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