when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
