see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
