i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
