Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
