What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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