playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
