1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize