That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
