i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
